Packed with vitamins and minerals, one of the three raccoons that currently visit almost every night is getting so fat that he can hardly get through the pet door designed for cats.

I've been trying to out- think fish for years. Counting the amount of time and money I've spent fishing, it's apparent that the fish have been winning.

Of all the Christmas trees I've seen through the years I can truthfully say that there has only been one I would classify as really ugly.

It seems as if the insanity has spread throughout the country, with anyone who has a sizable business, heading to Washington with their hands out for 20 billion or so.

Before we eat, we'll all gather at the table and give thanks not only for what He has given us, but what He has kept us from!

While we all know that lying is part of our political process, the trick is to determine which candidate is fibbing the least!

With absolutely no money and no effort, they tell me that I can be certain of making thousands of dollars in my spare time. All this without ever leaving my easy chair or talking to anyone!

I had the insane thought of finding a job somewhere, but then I decided I was getting senile, so I lost that idea in a hurry!

With a brain that's unencumbered by a lot of useless talk; I could come up with a solution to the economic crisis we're facing without spending any money! That would be a concept wouldn't it?

I've always believed there were angels on earth, but I never expected to see one standing at the foot of my bed in my hospital room.